Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Some People Just Make Ashes Of Themselves!

This is one of the more odd stories I've read recently... It seems that as cremation becomes more and more popular of an option for one's final - uh - disposition, more and more surviving family members are rather conveniently - uh - forgetting - to take their loved ones' ashes with them when the funeral is over. As a result, funeral homes are left holding the urn, and that can be problematic... In most states, there are no laws concerning the disposal of human ashes, and some funeral directors are afraid to throw Aunt Tillie out with the garbage in case Aunt Tillie's niece ever shows up to claim her.

I find this all very interesting, of course, because when my clock runs out (assuming my clock radio doesn't stop ticking first), I plan on being cremated, and my ashes will be surreptitiously scattered in the Seven Seas Lagoon at Walt Disney World. It will have to be surreptitious because if Disney let everyone who wanted to do this DO THIS, the lagoon in front of the Magic Kingdom would be one gross gray mess... and I DON'T think they'd get away with claiming it was pixie dust, either! For the record, dumping at Disney is pretty commonplace (here's one example), but you can't exactly expect the happiest place on Earth to condone it, either!

Of course, not every case of ash-scattering goes according to plan... Just a couple of weeks ago, a rocket carrying the ashes of Star Trek actor James Doohan to space exploded on take off. The reason is clear... Scotty was not around to make sure the ship was working properly!

Still, if Mrs. Matthews leaves me in the dust at Hines-Rinaldi, I'm gonna be pissed... or at least my ashes will! Dumping me in the lagoon was HER idea, after all!

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