Monday, December 15, 2008

I Never Knew I Had So Many Friends!



Ever since my extended leave from the working world began last spring, I've been devoted to becoming a creature of the 21st century - using technology to expand my social network.

I signed up for "Linked In" and made essential business connections - that didn't get me a job, but I am now connected to people who have them, and I'm sure that's vitally important!

I also signed up for Facebook, and further expanded my world of friends - I also know now when they are hungover, depressed, hungry, bored and tired. I found out that a girl I knew in high school and I are "soul mates" because we took the same movie quiz and it turns out we mostly like the same movies. I learned to write "lol" a lot, and I hate myself for it a little bit more every time I do.

But by far, the most interesting expansion of friends has come from a collection of folks writing e-mail to me. I really can't say I remember meeting any of them, but I must have because they are all really enamored with me, and we all seem to be on a first-name only basis.

This one girl, Ellen, even told me in the subject line "I think I'm in love wif u". Then there was Jane, who appears to be genuinely concerned with my health. She offered to get me big discounts on any medicine I want. I'm afraid Rhonda must have gotten the wrong idea about me. She writes, "I live 15 min away from you! lol, I'm horny!" And Deanna must realize that I'm pretty bad at names and faces together - She wrote - "UmmM do u remember me?? I hope so!!"

Rita offered me weight loss tips (how helpful!)... And Durfey told me there is a penis enlargement patch that really works - how I managed to miss Dr. Sanjay Gupta talking about that on CNN is beyond me! Karen offered to sell me a Rolex or Cartier watch for 99 bucks, and Delores offered me some "hot webcam action". I love having friends who are so dedicated to using technology, don't you?

Well, enough of all this. I have to go respond to all of this e-mail, and then grab some breakfast. I'm having a yen for a big plate of Spam!

3 comments:

Dr. Obnoxious, PhD said...
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Dr. Obnoxious, PhD said...

Dad- do not use chatspeak. Just because my generation has fed proper English through a woodchipper does not mean you have to stoop to their level. LOL is a detriment to proper cognitive function and the proper English language. Don't use chatspeak.

Dr. Obnoxious, PhD said...
This comment has been removed by the author.