The Woulda Coulda Shoulda Bowl

Before I offer my take on the Super Bowl, just one quick note about my previous entry concerning master stroker toker Michael Phelps... OK - He has fessed up to smoking the bong. Good. Confession is good for the soul. Having said that, I still don't think this is going to harm him beyond a little silly embarrassment. Phelps is still going to be one of the biggest stories of the 2012 Olympics. Do you really think his sponsors now are going to want to miss out on that payday? Dump Phelps at your peril! This will still be a non-story.


Now - Onto the Super Bowl - or as I like to think of it, the less-than-Super Bowl! I know that goes against the conventional wisdom, but this puppy was fraught with mistakes! I WILL grant you it was very exciting - it was, however, also very sloppy...



Perhaps I'm a little grumpy because I shoulda won my pool not once, but twice... but weird football took over and screwed me! I was playing in the Bernstein pool - one of those standard 100-square pools where everyone gets numbers to follow at random. I bought six squares, and five of them were dogs. But the sixth box was Cardinals 4, Steelers 0. At the end of the first half, the Cards were driving for a touchdown, and a score at the end of the half would have made it Arizona 14, Pittsburgh 10. I'd have won a hundred bucks! But no! The Steelers' James Harrison picks off the ball and returns it for a touchdown on the last play of the half!



Fast forward to the 4th quarter. Ben Roethlisberger fires a 20-yard bullet from his own end zone to complete a pass with less than 4 minutes left, giving the Steelers first down with a 20 - 14 lead. If that play stands and the Steelers run out the clock, I win a hundred bucks. But no! The Steelers are called for holding in the end zone, and it's a safety for the Cards instead!



Aside from my bad luck grumpness, here's what I saw:

• This wasn't the Super Bowl - it was the Penalty Bowl! There were so many yellow flags on the field, I thought some of the fans' Terrible towels had blown away! It's tough to see a game - even one as exciting as this - to be decided by the zebras...


• Was there anything else the NFL could have thrown out there? The only thing missing were the Obamas... Faith Hill... Jennifer Hudson... Bruce Springsteen... and the crew of the US Airways jet... It was a who's who of who's been in the news lately!


• The best ad I saw was the Doritos ad with the crystal ball... And ad that ends with a guy getting it in the cojones will make me laugh!


• The biggest letdown ad was the one for Monsters vs. Aliens... There were at least 20 of us sitting there watching with our stupid 3-D glasses on, and one of the kids calls out "When are they going to do the 3-D effects"? The effects were there, but they didn't amount to much.


• I really enjoyed Springsteen, but it's clear the Boss isn't used to doing 12-minute sets without an applause break. After he crashed into the camera at the end of "10th Avenue Freezeout", Bruce was so out of breath, he didn't catch himself until the middle of the last song!

Otherwise, the food was good... The company was good... and the Cardinals didn't win - just as God intended it to be!