"Mr. Matthews? This is Patuxent Publishing calling. We want to check to make sure you received your new Olney Yellow Pages."
"Yes, I saw it in my driveway."
"Do you plan to use it?"
"No. It's already in my recycling bin."
"So what book do you use to get phone numbers?"
"It's called the Internet."
"Thank you!" Click.
I actually lied about throwing the phone book away.... the new one, anyway. The old one IS in my recycling bin. The new book is on the top shelf of my hall closet, where it will sit untouched until this time next year, when I replace it with the 2010 edition. Mrs. Matthews won't let me throw the new phone book away. I think she thinks it's against the law or something.