Life When You Have No Life

Anyone who reads this blog knows that the blogmaster is, to put it whimsically, underemployed... Oh, I do have a few crumbs of work here and there, but as often as not, my days are currently filled with - oh... - not much.

Imagine then, the weekly excitement of Food Section Wednesday - the one day of the week that grocery store fliers arrive in the Washington Post - the day that I get to scan the ads and plan out my shopping excursions for the week!

You see, underemployed people don't do much real shopping - the mall is nothing but a tease when you are watching your pennies. But the grocery store is a whole other deal, because everybody has to eat!

So imagine my joy when I opened the Food section this week and discovered that the Shoppers Food Warehouse in Olney was having a Grand Re-Opening! And to make matters even more exciting, they have cases of Pepsi for 2.99! Do I have some kind of life, or what?!?!?!


So sure enough, I was in the door at Shoppers at around 8:45 this morning for the official grand re-opening, and I immediately noticed there were men in suits crowded around the produce section. I mentioned this to a clerk in the bakery department, and she allowed that the entire company's senior staff was there for the event, including the President of the company!

As I walked through the aisles, I noticed suited managers in almost every aisle, checking to make sure that every can of tomatoes was stacked in razor-sharp lines on the shelves. But mostly, they were standing around doing nothing.

And I thought I didn't have a life!

P.S. When I got home, I noticed they had mis-rung my Pepsi. I got them for $1.99 a case instead! Can life get any better than this?!

The ORIGINAL Reality TV Show Returns!

Back in 1976, when I was 15 years old and girls were nothing but a fantasy, I spent my afternoons glued to the tube watching Chuck Barris' GONG Show. The amateur "talent" show was harmless and silly, but just like with today's reality TV fare, an admission of being an actual fan was comparable to telling your friends that you also liked to drool and wet your bed.

Well, guess what, boys and girls? The Gong Show is making a comeback! More from Variety:

Comedy Central is reviving Chuck Barris' "The Gong Show," with comedian Dave Attell as host.
Cable net has ordered eight half-hour segs of the skein, which is set to premiere July 17. "The Gong Show" will air weekly at 10:30 p.m. in tandem with new reality TV spoof "Reality Bites Back" at 10.

Gameshow vet Andrew Golder will exec produce "The Gong Show" for Adam Sandler's Happy Madison Prods. and Sony Pictures TV, which owns the Barris canon.

Like the original, the new-model "Gong Show" will feature a revolving panel of celebrity judges weighing in on eight to 10 offbeat amateur acts in each episode.

Original skein, which aired from 1976-78 on NBC's daytime lineup and in primetime syndication from 1976-80, was hosted by producer Barris and featured such regulars as Gene-Gene the Dancing Machine (aka one of the show's stagehands) and the Unknown Comic (aka a guy with a paper bag on his head). A syndie revival had a short run in the 1988-89 season.

Attell is known to Comedy Central auds for hosting the series "Insomniac With Dave Attell." Late last year he toplined an HBO spesh, "Captain Miserable."

I'll be interested to see what a 21st century Gong show will look like, but there's no way it'll match the wackiness of the original... Here's a clip of my favorite recurring segment - Gene, Gene the Dancing Machine...