Backstage Reality

I try not to discuss it TOO frequently, but I am a fan of select "reality TV" programs. I have been watching some of them, including "Survivor" and "The Amazing Race" from their inceptions, and I know I'm not alone, because these two shows in particular are perennial top 20 programs.

I can't help but be defensive about being a reality TV fan because many people who DON'T watch these shows are so damn judgemental about them. I have more than one family member who rolls his or her eyes at the mere mention of these programs, as if reality TV is beneath them. I just want to say here and now that having THAT kind of reaction without having ever seen any of these programs, to me just brings reality TV's critics down to the level of reality TV - so it's all good. (You know who you are!)

For the rest of you who DO watch reality TV, and "Survivor" in particular, I wanted to bring something to your attention that may enhance your enjoyment of the program. Most of these shows have websites that offer added video clips - many of which are of dubious value. However, "Survivor" goes a step further, and shows behind the scene clips of each contestant as they are thrown off the show. These ousted contestants are taken to a nearby camp, known as "Ponderosa", where they recover and rest as they await the end of the show. You get to see how each player reacts to being ousted, and how the nastiness of being on the show quickly melts away with the promise of food and a hot shower.

You can find "Ponderosa" on the Survivor web page at CBS.com! Enjoy!

Susan Boyle - Inspiration Or Invention?

As I write this, tens of millions of people have seen the video of Susan Boyle singing on "Britain's Got Talent", and almost as a single voice, people are plotzing over how inspirational her performance was. If you're one of the four people left in the world who have not seen the clip, then take a look before reading on:


Susan Boyle Sings on Britain's Got Talent 2009 Episode 1 @ Yahoo! Video

I think Susan Boyle is great, and I think the song she chose, "I Dreamed a Dream", from Les Miserables was a perfect choice, both for the way it fit her impressive vocal range and for the irony of its lyrics. However, the rest of the "Susan Boyle phenomena" offends me on so many levels.

This is, sadly, a great example of how television and pop culture rule the world. A veritable handful of TV producers have the power to tell us how to feel and what to think. The producers of "Britain's Got Talent" decided that Susan Boyle should be played as a sympathetic character - an ugly duckling underdog who, against all odds, shows the world she can succeed. That portrayal, a Cinderella cliche that has been around since cavemen ruled the world, plays much better than the truth.

The truth is that Susan Boyle is not such an underdog. She deserves a lot of credit for auditioning for the show simply because it takes a lot of guts for anyone to try performing before a large audience. But why is anyone surprised that someone who LOOKS like Susan Boyle could actually be a gifted singer? The world is full of people just like her - and not just in the entertainment field. People who are not attractive enough or thin enough or clever enough to have their full potential shine through to their bosses.

Susan Boyle is a reality TV confection - cleverly invented and packaged by reality TV producers who knew exactly who should be cast to make people feel better about themselves. There's nothing folks like better than an underdog.... someone who can be a champion for the "plain janes" of the world.

Susan Boyle was not a "happy accident", but part of a tried and true formula. The producers of the show (including Simon Cowell) knew exactly what they were getting when they put her on the stage, and they played it up big time. Do you really think those reaction shots of Simon and of Piers Morgan (not to mention the two goofballs off stage) were a coincidence?

So yes - I am bothered by the naivety of people who do not see that this emotional groundswell of support around the world was entirely orchestrated. It probably worked better than producers ever could have dreamed, but they certainly knew what they were doing.

I am also bothered by the fact that as much as people are cheering for the ugly duckling, it only underscores the fact that you can't be too thin or too attractive in this world. The only change that Susan Boyle may add to the equation is that it will no doubt prompt some producer to create a reality TV talent show made up entirely of fat, ugly, short and smelly people to compete for your affections.

Here are a couple of other safe predictions. Susan Boyle will now be the odds-on favorite to win "Britain's Got Talent", because she now has the world in her corner, just as God - or, actually, the show's producers - intended. She will go on to become a giant Reality TV star in Britain - expect to see her on either "Big Brother" or "Strictly Come Dancing" (the U.K.'s version of "Dancing With the Stars") in the near future. She will be paid big money to be given makeovers and to go on a diet. And she will never be quite as captivating as she was the first time we saw her.

And here's another safe bet. When "America's Got Talent" comes back next summer, you can bet there will be plenty of new underdogs to root for who are every bit as ratty-looking as Susan Boyle.

Sayonara To Sequins And Sambas!

Well, the latest season of "Dancing With The Stars" has wrapped up, and I am digging deep into my testosterone-driven courage to write a blog entry about it! There is nothing unmanly about enjoying a good paso doble - and if it's manly enough for ESPN, then it's manly enough for me.

I have been a devoted fan of the show from the start, and as such, I have long since given up on any notion that it is a fair competition. In fact, I firmly believe it is fixed - but I still enjoy the spectacle of it all... and I think the show's producers have done a good job of picking a winner each time who brings the right combination of talent and popularity to the show.

This season was weaker than most... The best dancer, TV host Brooke Burke, was the best but this was a fairly sad bunch compared to some recent seasons. Burke was pushed by former NFL star Warren Sapp, who had little talent but massive appeal with the audience... and third place went to N Sync's Lance Bass, who I truly cannot stand to look at any longer. He was played up as a villain this season - perhaps unfairly - but he and his professional partner, Lacey Schwimmer, went out of their way to be "different" - so I guess they got what they deserved.

Here's Brooke Burke's winning freestyle dance that sealed the deal for her this week... the perfect Dancing With the Stars combo of cheese and talent! Enjoy!

Reality TV May Suck, But REAL Reality Is Worse!

I have never been shy about admitting to a certain guilty fondness for Reality TV... I enjoy many shows in the genre, including most of the biggies... Survivor, Race, Idol, Dancing, etc. But there is one major reality show that I gave up on long ago - "Extreme Makeover Home Edition".

My biggest issue with the program has always been that the producers build homes for disadvantaged families that are WAY out of character with the neighborhoods that the homes are built in.... You'll see mile after mile of tract homes, followed by a McMansion suddenly squeezed into a corner lot. In addition, the residents of the home are stuck with over-designed rooms that they will never be able to afford the upkeep on, let alone be able to redecorate if and when they choose. Show me an eight year-old boy whose bed is a pirate ship who will still be wanting to sleep with Jack Sparrow when he's 12!

One other issue - the families that receive these homes are usually well-intentioned people who, for one reason or another, are down on their luck. The hidden dirty little secret is that many of these people became downtrodden by their own hands... so it should come as no surprise when they are handed a free house - and still manage to screw things up. That's exactly what happened in Georgia this week...

Read on:

More than 1,800 people showed up to help ABC's "Extreme Makeover" team demolish a family's decrepit home and replace it with a sparkling, four-bedroom mini-mansion in 2005.

Three years later, the reality TV show's most ambitious project at the time has become the latest victim of the foreclosure crisis.

After the Harper family used the two-story home as collateral for a $450,000 loan, it's set to go to auction on the steps of the Clayton County Courthouse Aug. 5. The couple did not return phone calls Monday, but told WSB-TV they received the loan for a construction business that failed.

The house was built in January 2005, after Atlanta-based Beazer Homes USA and ABC's "Extreme Makeover" demolished their old home and its faulty septic system. Within six days, construction crews and hoards of volunteers had completed work on the largest home that the television program had yet built.

The finished product was a four-bedroom house with decorative rock walls and a three-car garage that towered over ranch and split-level homes in their Clayton County neighborhood. The home's door opened into a lobby that featured four fireplaces, a solarium, a music room and a plush new office.

Materials and labor were donated for the home, which would have cost about $450,000 to build. Beazer Homes' employees and company partners also raised $250,000 in contributions for the family, including scholarships for the couple's three children and a home maintenance fund.

ABC said in a statement that it advises each family to consult a financial planner after they get their new home. "Ultimately, financial matters are personal, and we work to respect the privacy of the families," the network said.

Some of the volunteers who helped build the home were less than thrilled about the family's financial decisions.

"It's aggravating. It just makes you mad. You do that much work, and they just squander it," Lake City Mayor Willie Oswalt, who helped vault a massive beam into place in the Harper's living room, told The Atlanta Journal-Constitution.

So let me get this straight... The family gets a free house, 250 grand for their kids' college, and a free trip to Disneyland, while their neighbors build them a new mini-mansion... and then they lose the house?

Screw the foreclosure auction... Where are the tar and feathers???

Reality TV Roundup

I have always found myself on a bit of the defensive because I am a dedicated consumer of reality television. In fact, I've avoided discussing it on this blog so far out of worry it might forever stain me as some sort of cultural idiot. The fact IS that television is entertainment... and whatever floats your boat is OK by me. My wife has her own TiVo filled to the brim with every cop show on the air... Never mind the fact that THOSE shows are about as far from REALITY as you can get - that's what she enjoys.

What really sticks in my craw are the people who insist on dismissing any program that is placed in the "reality TV" category out of hand. My brother-in-law, Todd, is one of these people. He won't tolerate 10 minutes of "Dancing With The Stars", but he'll watch every single Yankees game! Can you really tell me that three hours of baseball on TV is either more exciting or more entertaining than one hour of celebrity ballroom dancing? Again - whatever floats your boat.

Now - just a couple of quick riffs on current and future reality TV programs...

We're down to the final three on "Dancing With The Stars", now that Marissa Jaret Winokur has been shown the door. I was a big fan of the Tony-winning actress ... Like me, she is loud and fat... but she didn't let that get in the way, and she obviously enjoyed every minute that she was on the show. The great thing about Marissa is that she knew she probably should have been gone several weeks ago, and she appreciated that America kept her around as long as it did. As for the remaining stars, if Kristy Yamaguchi doesn't win, it will be a crime!


I've never been a big fan of American Idol... To me, it's always taken too long to go from early auditions to the finals, and there's something about all three judges that bug me. Having said that, I have dipped in and out of Idol this season... and I believe it's David Cook's competition to win.





If Reality TV is uncool, "Survivor" must be downright frigid. Just a few years ago, the granddaddy of reality programs was standard watercooler conversation in the office, but I knew almost no one at WMAL who would admit to watching it in recent years. The TV ratings are starting to bear that out. The finale of the latest season, "Fans vs. Faves", failed to finish in the top 10 programs for the week. That's a shame, because for those of you who snuffed the torch on Survivor years ago, I can tell you that this season - number SIXTEEN! - was one of the most entertaining seasons ever, including a four-week streak of tribal council blindsiding that has never been matched in the show's history! Again - I'm a big football fan - but you can't tell me that some of these shows are not just as competitive as TV sports!

Finally - I'm happy to hear that the Mole is making a comeback on ABC this summer. "The Mole" is almost as old as "Survivor", but it never achieved the same kind of ratings success. The original series was hosted by Anderson Cooper, who at the time was an overnight news anchor on ABC, and not yet a CNN megastar. The show itself is kind of hard to describe. There are about a dozen contestants who are given missions to perform... However, one of the contestants is a mole... someone whose job it is to spoil the missions without being detected. The winner of the program is the person who survives the longest, and who can identify the Mole. This show, more than others, was an acquired taste, but I highly recommend it. The new version will be out next month, but you can catch a marathon of the original series this Sunday on Game Show Network! Here's a promo for the original series:


By the way - a big shout out to my friend Ann Wog, who produces the Grandy and Andy Morning show on WMAL - She is my one and only true reality confidant! If it's reality TV, it's on Ann's TiVo!

The ORIGINAL Reality TV Show Returns!

Back in 1976, when I was 15 years old and girls were nothing but a fantasy, I spent my afternoons glued to the tube watching Chuck Barris' GONG Show. The amateur "talent" show was harmless and silly, but just like with today's reality TV fare, an admission of being an actual fan was comparable to telling your friends that you also liked to drool and wet your bed.

Well, guess what, boys and girls? The Gong Show is making a comeback! More from Variety:

Comedy Central is reviving Chuck Barris' "The Gong Show," with comedian Dave Attell as host.
Cable net has ordered eight half-hour segs of the skein, which is set to premiere July 17. "The Gong Show" will air weekly at 10:30 p.m. in tandem with new reality TV spoof "Reality Bites Back" at 10.

Gameshow vet Andrew Golder will exec produce "The Gong Show" for Adam Sandler's Happy Madison Prods. and Sony Pictures TV, which owns the Barris canon.

Like the original, the new-model "Gong Show" will feature a revolving panel of celebrity judges weighing in on eight to 10 offbeat amateur acts in each episode.

Original skein, which aired from 1976-78 on NBC's daytime lineup and in primetime syndication from 1976-80, was hosted by producer Barris and featured such regulars as Gene-Gene the Dancing Machine (aka one of the show's stagehands) and the Unknown Comic (aka a guy with a paper bag on his head). A syndie revival had a short run in the 1988-89 season.

Attell is known to Comedy Central auds for hosting the series "Insomniac With Dave Attell." Late last year he toplined an HBO spesh, "Captain Miserable."

I'll be interested to see what a 21st century Gong show will look like, but there's no way it'll match the wackiness of the original... Here's a clip of my favorite recurring segment - Gene, Gene the Dancing Machine...

Oprah's Big Joke

I had the misfortune last night of channelsurfing my way to the finale of "Oprah's Big Give", Oprah Winfrey's bid to extend her brand to the world of reality television. I'm a bit ashamed to say I stayed for the full hour. I should have kept on moving, but like a rubbernecker at a bad car crash, I just couldn't avert my gaze.

The show followed your typical "Survivor/Big Brother/Amazing Race" template... Every week, some poor soul was tossed off the show... But in this case, all of the contestants were competing to see who could be the best fundraiser for charity. Since this was the finale, you had the final three contestants more or less stabbing each other in the back to show what humanitarians they are, while racing against an arbitrary clock to "give" as much to the community as possible before time ran out. It was all very distasteful, but unfortunately, I've just scratched the surface... The show also included:

• Oprah Winfrey hosting on auto-pilot. You can tell she devoted absolutely no time to the show. She read everything off of a teleprompter, and she more or less played the role of Santa Claus on the show... handing out cash to the contestants as though they had been touched by the hand of God.
• A completely meaningless cameo appearance by Jennifer Aniston. She was brought in just long enough to help Oprah give away some cash. She walked on... played the role of Jennifer Aniston, and walked off. She did nothing for charity or nothing else on the show. She was merely Jennifer Aniston.
• Two of the final three contestants raised piles of cash for charity - about 160 grand - in the final episode... But the third finalist - a beauty pageant queen - decided the best thing she could do to make a difference in the world was to beg a chef at a high-end restaurant to give a cooking lesson to some wheelchair-bound children in a hospital. The chef made something with a gooey white cheddar sauce. I'm not sure how this was supposed to give these children a better life - Perhaps they had one more product placement obligation to squeeze into the show.
• The "purpose" of the show was supposedly to demonstrate that anyone can raise money for charity and make the world a better place... But let's face it. The only reason ANY of these people were able to get anything done was because Oprah Winfrey's name was attached to the whole thing. Last night, they were supposedly able to get "Blue Man Group" to put on a free show AND to donate 100,000 dollars for charity - all on less than 24 hours notice. Do you suppose any of that could have happened without them dropping "the big O"?
• The biggest sin of all - especially for someone who has at least a little knowledge about how the media works - is that the show had AWFUL production value. Oprah's voice was dubbed in in several places, and you could tell it was done to cover up for badly shot or missing video. The dubs were apparent, not seamless... and the editing was awful. On more than one occasion, the scene went from applause to silence instantly, obviously because they either had to make up a different ending or attempt to make the show's ending more palatable than originally envisioned.

Is it just me, or do you agree that Oprah could have had a much bigger impact if she had taken all the money invested on this stinker and given it directly to charity herself? Let's hope "the Big Give" does NOT spawn a sequel someday!