My Surprise School Reunion!

Note to "Life On The Beach" regulars - Today's entry is a bit of a departure from my normal fare. Instead of bitching about how the arrival of President Obama has done nothing so far to promote bipartisanship (it hasn't), or discussing the Postal Service's desire to go to five-day-a week delivery (a good idea), today I present an essay. It's part of a newly-launched writing project I'm doing with my high school friends on Facebook. Enjoy!



The date was September 8, 1993. I was at a pretty good place in life. I was the morning drive news reporter at WMAL and living in Silver Spring with my wife of three years, Robin. Robin and I had been living in our brand-new townhouse behind Leisure World for just under a year, and we were looking forward to the birth of our first child, who was due sometime around Thanksgiving. We were scheduled, in fact, to start Lamaze classes the following week.

Robin had a pretty rough day at work - not so much because of her job, per se, but because she just didn't feel good. Pregnancy did not agree with my wife. She never did quite get rid of her morning sickness, and she had been diagnosed with pregancy-onset diabetes, which meant she had to test her blood several times a day. Mama wasn't a happy mama! When Robin got home, she complained of feeling like she had to go to the bathroom, but that wasn't it. A call to the obstatrician confirmed that my seven-month-pregnant wife was likely in labor.

We took a drive over to Shady Grove Adventist Hospital to get Robin checked out, under the assumption that they would stop the labor and send her back home. But by the time we got to Shady Grove, it was too late to stop the baby. He or she was coming!

My brave wife allowed herself about 30 seconds of grief before she set her mind to the next task at hand - undergoing natural childbirth without a minute of training for it, We were taken to a private delivery room to await the unknown.

A couple of minutes later, a nurse came in, and introduced herself - "Hello, my name is Sue". I took one look at her, and smiled. "Susan Berenter! It's been a long time!" I had gone to school with Sue Berenter all the way from Kindergarten at Cresthaven through graduation at Springbrook. We had never been close friends, but you don't share schools with someone for 13 years without having at least some sort of bond.

As Sue and I quickly caught up on old times - what I was doing for a living, how long she'd been a nurse, etc., we heard a groan. Oh yes... Robin.

I introduced Sue to my wife, and Sue snapped instantly into professional mode. She did a great job of calming mother and father down, and giving us the five-cent Lamase "pant, pant, blow" course in about ten minutes. Then she went about doing what nurses do before a woman gives birth... Setting up warming trays and machines that go "BING" and all of that other good stuff - all the while encouraging Robin and keeping her calm.

I don't know if every childbirth goes like this, but it did for both of our kids. The nurse does everything until it's time for the Mom to push. Then - and only then - the doctor comes in and basically catches the baby. It was great having Sue as our delivery nurse, even if the reunion was in front of my wife's gaping ... uh, well... you know. It was comforting to me to have a familiar face in the room to help us in a situation we had not expected. And it was comforting to Robin to have someone who was so good at what she did. Sue was a real pro!

Bradley Philip Matthews was born at 1:49am on September 9, 1993 - two months premature, but at 4 pounds, 9 ounces and 18 inches in length, still quite big for his gestational age. Brad was in the hospital for two weeks and had to wear a breathing monitor for six months, but beyond that, he was a real trooper! And we have Susan Berenter to thank for that!

Thanks, Sue - Wherever you are!

Father And Son Santas

I've been going through the old family album, and I found a couple of pictures I wanted to share with you this Christmas... Here is a picture of Mrs. Matthews - who I swear has not aged a day in 15 years - with our son, Brad, at the tender age of 3 months. Brad was a premie - he was 2 months early and weighed 4 1/2 pounds at birth, so he was still a pretty little guy - probably about 9 pounds when this shot was taken...




Brad was the hit of the WMAL holiday party that year... Since he was so little, and was attached to a breathing monitor to boot - we had to bring him to the party, where everyone promptly fawned over him!




Finally, I told you recently that I was a department store Santa in my student days at Syracuse. Well, my sister Jill has unearthed a newspaper clipping (that I had completely forgotten even existed) from the Syracuse New Times in December of 1981, in which yours truly was asked what I, as Santa, wanted for Christmas... And my answer in those recessionary times is oddly fitting in these recessionary times!




I may or may not be posting in the next week or so - it all depends on whether something strikes my fancy - but most likely, I'll see you all back here in this space after the New Year! Happy Holidays, everyone!

Congratulations, Sherwood!

Sherwood High School is having a fine weekend! Last night, the undefeated Warriors football team beat Northwest High School, 38 - 3, to advance to the second round of the county playoffs. And this morning, on Channel 4, Sherwood beat Mt. Vernon and Eleanor Roosevelt to advance to the second round of It's Academic! Congrats to Brad, Molly and Josh for a great come-from-behind win! Here's the intense final round... You can also find the rest of the match posted on youtube!


The team will play again on TV in the spring! Go Warriors!

Brad Matthews, TV Star!

Just a quick reminder for anyone who cares... My oldest son, Brad and his teammates from Sherwood High School will be on It's Academic tomorrow morning, Saturday, November 15th, at 10:30am - on WRC-TV, channel 4. You'll finally be able to find out how they did! Check back at this space next week and perhaps you'll find a youtube recap!


Have a good weekend!

That's My Boy!

I told you weeks ago about the proud news that our son, Brad, had made the TV team at Sherwood High School for It's Academic! Well, yesterday, we made the drive down to the NBC studios on Nebraska Avenue, NW for the taping of Sherwood's first round match against Mt. Vernon and Eleanor Roosevelt High Schools. And while I won't spoil the fun by telling you the outcome (you will note I also blocked out Sherwood's score), I can tell you that a good time was had by all! Brad cleans up pretty well, doesn't he? Of the nine players in the game, Brad was the only sophomore among five seniors and three juniors!



A special thanks to Randy and Evan Bernstein and to Ryan Solomon for coming down to NBC with us to cheer Brad on! You can see Sherwood's match on WRC, Channel 4, on Saturday, November 15th at 10:30am! Go Brad!

God, I'm Glad I Don't Have Daughters!

This news item from the Associated Press says it all:

DELTONA, Fla. -- An angry Deltona father whacked his teenage daughter's boyfriend with a metal pipe after finding the boy naked in his daughter's room. Authorities say the father, 45, didn't even know his daughter had a boyfriend or that the youngster had been sneaking into the home for more than a year.

When he heard noises coming from his daughter's bedroom Thursday morning and saw a stranger standing naked on the girl's bed, he swung a metal pipe. He then chased the teen out the front door and called police.

The boy was taken to the hospital where doctors closed a head wound with staples.

The father was charged with aggravated battery on a child and bonded out on $10,000.


15-year-old Brad Matthews informed me yesterday that his high school's Homecoming dance is October 9th, and that he plans to spend it sitting in front of the computer in the basement, playing video games. I say AMEN!

A Brad Matthews Update!

This Just In... As reported earlier this week, my boy, Brad has been named to Sherwood High School's "A" team "It's Academic" squad. It was initially thought that Brad would be serving as an alternate - the fourth member of a 3-person TV team. However, we just learned that Brad will indeed be on the team that will appear on television later this fall. It's quite an honor, as Brad will be the only sophomore, playing with two seniors!

By the way - by actually making the TV squad, Brad surpasses NY Senator and former First Lady Hillary Clinton, who only managed alternate status on her high school's It's Academic team... And Brad joins the ranks alongside our good friend, Bill Vanko, who was captain of the It's Academic team at Loch Raven High School back in 1976! (He's the beardless wonder in the middle below!)

Congratulations, son!

A Tribute To My Son, Brad!

As many of you know, 15-year-old Brad Matthews joined the It's Academic team as a freshman at Sherwood High School last year. He didn't make the "A" team, otherwise known as the team that actually competes on television, but he did have a stellar year as one of the regular players on Sherwood's "B" team. The "B" team competed across Montgomery County in off-air tournaments, and even, on occasion, beat Sherwood's very own "A" team.

Well, lo and behold, we found out this afternoon that Brad's hard work and penchant for obscure trivia has paid off - He is now the only sophomore on Sherwood's "A" team! He may or may not get to compete on the "It's Academic" TV show this fall - there are four players competing for three on-air positions... but Brad WILL appear on the Montgomery County Schools' Public Access TV quiz show, "Quizmaster Challenge"!

It's quite an accomplishment for our oldest son, who continues to amaze his teachers and parents on a regular basis... and it's definitive proof that video games do NOT rot one's brain!

In tribute to Brad, I present this amusing new video, which shows us what happens when Super Mario's heroic efforts are taken for granted. Enjoy!

Exercising My Jewish Roots

The Matthews family made a quick up-and-back trip to New York over the weekend for the bat mitzvah of our good family friend, Jamie Karpf. (Great job, Jamie!) A couple of quick observations...

• After growing up in a well-mixed neighborhood in Silver Spring religion-wise, and after being married to a Jewish woman for 18 years, I must really be assimilating well to the Jewish culture. After the morning service, one of my acquaintances asked me if I speak Hebrew - which I don't. He thought I did because he noticed me apparently reading pretty convincingly during the bat mitzvah! I guess a career of faking phonetic pronunciations on the radio has helped me in that regard... plus, I had to learn a smidgin of hebrew for Brad's Bar Mitzvah 2 years ago, so some of it must have stuck!


• Gas where I live near Olney, Maryland is running about 4.09 a gallon right now. If you pay a similar price, be THANKFUL for it. I noticed on our trip that gas prices in New Jersey, the nation's cheap gas capital are running about 3.89 a gallon - frankly not that much cheaper... And up where my friends live in Putnam County, New York, it's bend-over-and-take-it time! Regular self-serve up there averages about 4.45 a gallon - and folks in the hills of cold and snowy upstate New York actually NEED to own SUVs... OY!


• Every time I attend a wedding or bar mitzvah, I am reminded just how bad today's music is. I know this statement makes me sound like an old fart, but without fail, the proof lies in the music at events like these... What are the songs that get people - young and old - to get up and dance... even today? Motown... Barry White... Kool and the Gang... Sister Sledge... Party music - even for young people - is firmly stuck in 1980! Even the group dances are showing their age now, but those are the songs that get people on their feet... the Macarena, the Electric Slide... the Cha Cha slide... I am fully convinced that if "Shout" and "Hot Hot Hot" had never been written, weddings and bar mitzvahs would have ceased to exist a long time ago!

After racing back from New York, we spent Sunday packing up to send the boys to camp for a month... Actually, my control-freak wife spent Sunday packing. I spent Sunday asking Robin if there was anything I could do to help... Being a Jewish mother (sorry for the stereotype, but this one happens to be true!), Robin had to personally make sure that she and only she ironed on labels in both boys' underwear! My wife readily admits that if I had been left in charge of packing, the job would have taken half the time, but she would have worried that I had missed something.

So I left the task to her, and she proceeded to overpack - sending the boys to camp with 20 pair of undies and 20 pair of socks each, even though the boys will get laundry service once a week! I awoke Monday at 6:30 am and found Robin racing around the house looking for clips that the boys could use to clip their yarmulkes to their heads for Friday night Shabbat services. This caused me to wonder... what makes Robin think the boys will actually wear their yarmulkes? And even if they did - what makes her think they would use a hair clip?

When we got to camp, Robin went off with our younger son, Spencer, to unpack, while I was left in charge of unpacking Brad. I found a laundry bag filled with at least 15 bath towels. I put four of them in a drawer and asked Brad what to do with the rest, and he said... "Shove them in my trunk, and I'll bring them home clean. That's what I've done every other year!"

That's what I love about summer camp... No matter how much the parents try to overprepare, the kids find a way to ignore it all - and get by with only what they really need. What they really need is a break from their Jewish mothers! (I love you, Robin!)

Public Education's Not What It Used To Be!

Just a warning - I'm about to turn into my father...

Back when I was a kid, school ended a week or so after Father's Day, and we managed to actually be taught something almost to the last day. The final week or so might have more film strips or 16mm films to watch in class than usual, but there was at least a modicum of education being taught. That is NOT the case with school in 2008.

Today marks the beginning of the last week of school for my two sons, although pragmatically speaking, the school year has been over for some time for both of them. For high school freshman Brad, the education ended pretty much after Memorial Day, when his High School assessment tests were given. During that week of exams, Brad only had to be in class to take his tests, and otherwise had the rest of the time off. He was literally at school for a day and a half total that week. Last week, he missed school on Thursday because of a power failure, and there were no classes on Friday because of graduation. Back in my day (you young whippersnappers), we didn't get graduation day off unless we were actually graduating!

This week, Brad has his final exams. The way they are scheduled, he will have half a day of school today and tomorrow, no school at all on Wednesday and two hours of school on Thursday, the official last day of classes.

For younger son Spencer, who is ending fourth grade, elementary school is not much tougher. His assessment tests are also finished, and his homework effectively ended more than a week ago. He has already had one or two end-of-year class parties, and he will wrap up the week with more classroom celebrations. Graded work is now a quickly fading memory for him as well.

Maryland State law mandates that our children receive at least 180 days of instruction a year, and frankly, my kids are getting ripped off in that regard. Spencer has had a steady flow of homework through the year, but Montgomery County is not demanding nearly enough of its high school students. Brad coasted through 9th grade, and received straight A's for the second straight quarter. I am, of course, quite proud of him, but I am concerned as well. High school is not supposed to be such a breeze. Out kids need to be challenged more, and they need to develop study habits now so they will not be crushed by the sudden weight of college work. My son could really stand to face the burden of an hour of work a night, but more often than not this year, he literally had no homework... and what little he DID have, he managed to finish at school, because his teachers rarely filled all of his classtime with actual education.

You can choose whoever you want to blame for all this, and the school system will deny it loudly, but the fact of the matter is, the only thing school officials care about is having students do well on their assessment tests. Once those are out of the way, the teaching is done for the year.

That is - done for the teachers and the school system, of course. They are so paranoid about the kids they've just poorly taught being prepared for the fall that they will send home a mountain of work for our kids to review over the summer so they'll be prepared to resume the cycle again at the end of August. This is another phenomenon we did not have to worry about back in the day. Fall, Winter and Spring were for learning. Summer was for fun. Now, Fall and Winter are for learning to take tests, Spring is for taking the tests (and nothing else) and Summer is for reviewing the material you really didn't learn so well the previous 10 months.

We spend so much time being obsessed with how much better educated school children in other countries are, and studies are constantly claiming the need for longer school years for our kids. Maybe we should first worry about filling up our existing school days with actual education!

By gum!

Thanks, Sophie!

The creator of "It's Academic", Sophie Altman, has died at the tender age of 95. If you can even manage to live to 95, God bless you, but Sophie continued to produce the high school quiz show at Channel 4 until just three weeks before her death! Thousands of America's brightest scholars got their starts on It's Academic, and the roster has also included an astronaut, two U.S. Senators (find Hillary Clinton in this picture!), scores of doctors and lawyers, and hopefully, next school year, my son, Brad!

"It's Academic" levels the high school playing field for those kids who don't find their niche in sports, but in academics. My son doesn't watch MTV... he watches the History Channel, and "It's Academic" provides him with an outlet to hone his craft - to make him want to excel in education. What a blessing it's been!

In its heyday, "It's Academic" was syndicated to 24 other cities, and it is still aired in eight markets, from Washington to San Diego. The DC version is the original, of course, and it's still hosted by the ageless Mac McGarry, himself a D.C. institution as a broadcaster and the longtime announcer voice of both Channel 4 and many NBC programs. I had a chance to meet Mac at a taping of "It's Academic" earlier this year, and it was a thrill. He is not that far behind Sophie Altman in age, but I think Mac has many more miles in his tank!

You can and should read about Sophie Altman's fascinating life and career in this obit in the Washington Post. She even had Hollywood connections - her daughter-in-law is Wonder Woman Lynda Carter!

Thank you, Sophie, for giving geek squads a fighting chance in this world!

Like Father, Like Son

Many of you have had the pleasure (or occasional displeasure) of meeting my older son, 14-year-old Brad. I only say displeasure because, as much as I love him, Brad has an obnoxious streak that can sometimes run 24/7. He will take a mildly funny joke and run it straight into the ground... and then some. And then some MORE. It's exhausting. In his defense, I must admit that ol' Brad doesn't fall far from the tree. I look at him and see myself when I was his age, and it gives me a whole new appreciation for the power of teenage hormones. It's almost enough to make me want to apologize to my family for putting up with me!

It's amazing as a parent to watch your children grow, and to see how much they emulate you whether you want them to or not. Shortly after I began this blog, Brad decided to start a journal of his own, called, fittingly enough, The Obnoxious Report. The blog is a sometimes-fascinating look at the world through teenage eyes. I have had to go back a couple of times and require Brad to remove some objectionable material, but for the most part, I think he's doing a fine job.

This proud Dad sees a young man who is developing his own thoughts and finding his own strong voice. It's easy - sometimes too easy - to disregard what young people have to say. But Brad has opinions - real, self-vetted opinions - and he's using his blog to share some of them. I find his latest entry to be particularly timely - it's about the election. Not the presidential one - the Sherwood High School variety. Enjoy! (And Brad - good job!)

Happy Take Your Child To Work Day!

As you know, one of the major running themes of this blog is to share what it feels like to be unemployed for the first time ever.
Well, today we run smack into the annual "Take Your Child To Work" day. That's never been an issue for me because I used to go to the office at 4:30 in the morning, so it was never very tempting for my kids to see what it was like at Dad's job. Now, I AM going to take Spencer to his Mom's job today - he'll sit in Robin's classroom and watch her teach her pre-schoolers. Meanwhile, my older son, Brad, has practically begged for me to take him to MY job today... ha ha ha. Smart ass.

Still - things could be worse. To be honest, I always hated "Take Your Child To Work Day", because having kids around the office is a big distraction. At least in my experience, they always seemed more bored than engaged, and it always seemed like a good excuse for their parents to take a long lunch and/or skip out early. But boy, I'd sure love the opportunity to take my kids to the office now!

Thank You, Honda!

This is my 1997 Honda Civic. We bought it new in July of that year, trading in my wife's old Plymouth Horizon for 500 dollars, and walking away with this car for just a couple of hundred bucks over cost. I had a choice between the optional cassette deck or the optional CD player, and of course went with the more popular option... the cassette deck! After all, I had all those mix tapes at my disposal... and no one had ever heard of burning their own CDs! The sales manager at Sport Honda in Silver Spring gave me a good deal because I had just purchased two Hondas from him for WMAL that are still being used today as news vehicles. This practice tells us two things, but since I am sworn to take the high road, I will only make the second observation. Hondas are built to last!

I love my Civic. It is neither plush nor cool, and it has a couple of battle scars thanks to a couple of scrapes with pillers in the Jenifer Street garage over the years. However - it gets nearly 30 miles to the gallon, and it is reliable with a capital R. It could also make the drive to Connecticut Avenue to my old job by memory after more than a decade of commuting. The reason I'm writing about my Civic now is that we have observed an important milestone - Today, it reached the big 100 K.

The milestone was reached in Gaithersburg, near the Quince Orchard Swim Club, where I was dropping Brad off for a community service project he was involved in. We reached the pool with a mile or so to spare, so I drove around a traffic circle at a nearby school a half dozen times so we could experience the big flip together. A true father-and-son bonding experience!

It was especially signficant that I shared this moment with my oldest son. He is going to be 15 this fall, and it is certainly possible, if not likely, that the Civic will someday be Brad's first car. My first car was my grandfather's 1972 Ford Maverick, which was on its last legs when I inherited it, and which was spewing oil and smoke within a few months on its way to the scrap heap. I'm betting Brad will be getting a much better deal a couple of years from now!

There's NO WAY This Boy Comes From My Loins!

A proud papa shout out today for our oldest son, Brad, who, for the first time in high school, has achieved straight A's! This was, of course, de rigueur in middle school, but it took until the third quarter of freshman year to reach the top at Sherwood. By doing this, Matthews fils has reached an achievement level that Matthews pere certainly never achieved! Brad is a budding member of the Sherwood "It's Academic" team, and while he did not make the TV squad this season, we're hopeful of him perhaps being quizzed by Mac McGarry himself in his sophomore year! Congrats, Brad... Now clean your room!